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(We Are Also Tech Writers, Website Designers, Photographers, and More)

We Handle Any Problem

"Those Outdoor Cats Have No Class" Polecat

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Introduction

Obviously there are some brilliantly named cats. You probably have met one or more yourself in your lifetime. According to official government statistics, however, for every cat with a name to be proud of, there are 147 cats with names of little note. (The cost of this particular government grant to develop statistics was approximately $100, a bargain by anyone's standards.)

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We guarantee we will actually name your cat, or your money back. Naturally, we can't guarantee you'll like the name we come up with because, after all, we are not mind readers.

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"I'm developing an eye problem. Everything I see pisses me off!"

Well, it finally happened. Amateurs that are giving them away for free forced us out of the cat naming business. Isn't that the hooker's lament? I can't believe fanatics offering freebies have eliminated an old family business like ours.

I'll bet these guys don't offer the equivalent of The Famous Cats Named Guarantee, though.

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Technical Writing:   Documentation, user manuals, instruction books, special reports, reviews, tech research, computer related evaluations, proposal writing and review, business letter writing, etc. For small examples of descriptive writing, see the write-ups for items found on my Items for Sale Page. Minimum cost is $100 per page.         Computer Related Consulting:   For small to medium businesses, including proposal review, backup and data security issues. Requirements gathering, proposal writing, project reviews, technical interpreter for business principals, etc. Have an expert on your side at reasonable cost!         Web Site Design:   See Current Projects below, and this site itself, of course. Our standard offer is $350 for a basic four page website. This is for a Greeting/Counter page, Home Page, and two other pages. See West Village Provisions for a typical example. As you can see, for a restaurant, the home page could show location, open hours, a few representative images, directions on how to get there, owners names, etc. One of the other two pages would be the menu, and the other might be an "About Us" page, perhaps with old photos. West Village Provisions chose to have a photo page, as you can see. Included in the $350 fee is help getting your own domain name. You might be eligible for a FREE Website. The following additional expenses are for website hosting, and have nothing to do with us: a one-time $15 setup fee, and $8.95 per month. Click here for website hosting details.. These fees apply to all websites we design and implement.         Photography Work:   If you are located in Essex County Massachusetts, I will do the photo layouts for your website, at a reasonable additional cost. See the website photo layouts for West Village Provisions and Paisley Farm & Greenhouse. Other photography work considered. See Other types of photos here. [Click Back Arrows to return].         Software QA:   Think of me as the idiot that you want your software to be proof from. Yes, I will perform all those boring tests you hate to do. Our motto: it is easier to criticize others than it is to do it right ourselves.      Rates for Above: Your basic website is a flat rated $350. Everything else is an easy to remember 40-40-40. That's $40/hour labor, $0.40/minute on my cell phone, and $0.40/mile on the road (due to the outrageous price of gasoline lately). All direct and indirect expenses are billed at cost. Indirect expenses are included in the hourly rate for work performed in my office.      Other Services:    Cats Named:  $25 and up - results guaranteed.         Second Opinions:   $50 and up. We have a two-tiered structure. Top of the line are Well Reasoned Opinions, but they do required time for research and thought. You may want quicker results. These also take some time, but are available faster then the other type, and in fact comprise the Famous Cats Named Half-Fast Opinions. Talk show hosts please note!         Common Sense Consulting:  $100 and up. Unfortunately, if you need us you don't know it! NOTE: if you think this idea is really stupid, then you have an emergency and should contact us immediately.

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Automatic camera equipment for wildlife photos, proximity detector tripped    Solar powered, climate controlled instrument enclosure(s)    Used tilt/zoom security cameras & IP enabled servers - prefer Canon VB Series.    Heated and ventilated mounts for outdoor security cameras.    Used two wheel trailer to haul registered car - no junk, please!    Used dish antennas, cheap, up to 3' in diameter    Parabolic microphones, shotgun microphones    Beverly [Mass] High School Year Books from 1958 thru 1962    Mint condition Kawasaki KZ750 Twin OR early eighties Suzuki GS850G    Optoelectronics Scout Frequency Counter [digital preferred]; also sniffer.    Creampuff Camry 1997 - 2001 w/ sunroof, spoiler, wheels, etc. Pre. 4 cylinders.

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Contact Cats Named Here ==>

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Camp Herrick [Ongoing Support]    Official BHS Class of 1960 Website [Ongoing Support]    Paisley Farm & Greenhouse [Ongoing Support]    Ryal Side Elementary School [Ongoing Support]    West Village Provisions [Ongoing Support]

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These are some of my favorite links. They are listed here more or less in alphabetical order for my convenience. Perhaps you will find them so, too.

Alta Vista Search Engine		Will find stuff Google won't
Amazon		Books Sales & Much More
AnyWho		Reverse Phone Number Lookup
Beverly [Mass] High Alumni Website		For all BHS classes. Check It Out!
Blogger		How to Set Up Your Own Blog
Camp Herrick Boy Scout Camp		Maintained by us!
eBay		eBay Home Page
Google		Why not use the best?
How to Get a Human on Phone		Sick of interactive voice response (IVR)?
Juno		Check Juno mail
Kayak		The absolute best airline booking site
Massachusetts Doctor Profiles		Check out your doctor
NetFlix		The only way to rent movies
Official BHS Class of '60 Website		Maintained by us!
Projects		Current Catsnamed Projects
Research Annoying Phone Calls		See who's illegally ignoring DNCR
See an Interesting Website		Combination Blog & Personal Website
See Your House from Satellite		Also, the ultimate mapper!
Snopes - Verify Rumors		See if story is true before spreading
Switchboard		Telephone Number Lookup
Virus Info You Can Use!		Quick reference links
Weather Underground		Local weather, or not
Wired		Pop-tech news & articles
Yahoo!		Mail Sign In Page
YouTube		One of the most popular websites ever!

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