Cats Named, Etc. Home Page

Home Page

Cats Named, Etc.
We name cats, etc. $25 and up. Results Guaranteed.

(We Are Also Tech Writers, Website Designers, Photographers, and More)

We Handle Any Problem

"Those Outdoor Cats
Have No Class"

Polecat

Contents

Introduction

The Famous Cats Named Guarantee

Free Cat Names

Services / Rates

   Are You Eligible for a FREE Website? <== 11/15/08  Reworded
   Items for Sale Page
            Items Too Big to Ship
            Items for Sale on eBay
            Yard Sale Items
            Links to Friends & Associates
   Items Wanted
   Contact Information
   Our Websites
   My Favorite Links

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Introduction

Obviously there are some brilliantly named cats. You probably have met one or more yourself in your lifetime. According to official government statistics, however, for every cat with a name to be proud of, there are 147 cats with names of little note. (The cost of this particular government grant to develop statistics was approximately $100, a bargain by anyone's standards.)

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The Famous Cats Named Guarantee

We guarantee we will actually name your cat, or your money back. Naturally, we can't guarantee you'll like the name we come up with because, after all, we are not mind readers.

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"I'm developing an eye problem.
Everything I see pisses me off!"

FREE Cat Names

Well, it finally happened. Amateurs that are giving them away for free forced us out of the cat naming business. Isn't that the hooker's lament? I can't believe fanatics offering freebies have eliminated an old family business like ours.

    Over 16,000 FREE Cat Names Here

    Creative Cat Naming Resource

I'll bet these guys don't offer the equivalent of The Famous Cats Named Guarantee, though.

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Services / Rates

   Technical Writing:   Documentation, user manuals, instruction books, special reports, reviews, tech research, computer related evaluations, proposal writing and review, business letter writing, etc. For small examples of descriptive writing, see the write-ups for items found on my Items for Sale Page. Minimum cost is $100 per page.



   Computer Related Consulting:   For small to medium businesses, including proposal review, backup and data security issues. Requirements gathering, proposal writing, project reviews, technical interpreter for business principals, etc. Have an expert on your side at reasonable cost!



   Web Site Design:   See "Our Websites" below, and this site itself, of course. Our standard offer is $350 for a basic four page website. This is for a Greeting/Counter page, Home Page, and two other pages. See West Village Provisions for a typical example. As you can see, for a restaurant, the home page could show location, open hours, a few representative images, directions on how to get there, owners names, etc. One of the other two pages would be the menu, and the other might be an "About Us" page, perhaps with old photos. West Village Provisions chose to have a photo page, as you can see. Included in the $350 fee is help getting your own domain name. You might be eligible for a FREE Website. The following additional expenses are for website hosting, and have nothing to do with us: a one-time $15 setup fee, and $8.95 per month. Click here for website hosting details.. These fees apply to all websites we design and implement.



   Photography Work:   If you are located in Essex County Massachusetts, I will do the photo layouts for your website, at a reasonable additional cost. See the website photo layouts for West Village Provisions and Paisley Farm & Greenhouse. Other photography work considered. See Other types of photos here. [Click Back Arrows to return].



   Software QA:   Think of me as the idiot that you want your software to be proof from. Yes, I will perform all those boring tests you hate to do. Our motto: it is easier to criticize others than it is to do it right ourselves.



Rates for Above:

Your basic website is a flat rated $350. Everything else is an easy to remember 40-40-40. That's $40/hour labor, $0.40/minute on my cell phone, and $0.40/mile on the road. All direct and indirect expenses are billed at cost. Indirect expenses are included in the hourly rate for work performed in my office.



Other Services:

   Cats Named:  $25 and up - results guaranteed.



   Second Opinions:   $50 and up. We have a two-tiered structure. Top of the line are Well Reasoned Opinions, but they do required time for research and thought. You may want quicker results. These also take some time, but are available faster then the other type, and in fact comprise the Famous Cats Named Half-Fast Opinions. Talk show hosts please note!



   Common Sense Consulting:  $100 and up. Unfortunately, if you need us you don't know it! NOTE: if you think this idea is really stupid, then you have an emergency and should contact us immediately.



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Items Wanted

   Automatic camera equipment for wildlife photos, proximity detector tripped

   Solar powered, climate controlled instrument enclosure(s)

   Used tilt/zoom security cameras & IP enabled servers - prefer Canon VB Series.

   Heated and ventilated mounts for outdoor security cameras.

   Used two wheel trailer to haul registered car - no junk, please!

   Used dish antennas, cheap, up to 3' in diameter

   Parabolic microphones, shotgun microphones

   Beverly [Mass] High School Year Books from 1958 thru 1962

   Mint condition Kawasaki KZ750 Twin OR early eighties Suzuki GS850G

   Optoelectronics Scout Frequency Counter [digital preferred]; also sniffer.

   Creampuff Camry 1997 - 2001 w/ sunroof, spoiler, wheels, etc. Pre. 4 cylinders.

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Contact Information

Contact Cats Named Here ==>

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Our Websites

   Camp Herrick [Ongoing Support]

   Official BHS Class of 1960 Website [Ongoing Support]

   Paisley Farm & Greenhouse [Ongoing Support]

   Ryal Side Elementary School [Ongoing Support]

   West Village Provisions [Ongoing Support]

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Are You Eligible for a Free Website?

"Free Website" means Cats Named Etc. will (1) create your website and (2) help you obtain your own domain name, both for free, asuming conditions below are met. There will be a monthly third party website hosting fee that you will have to pay, just like everyone else that has a website. This fee and any other charges have nothing to do with Cats Named Etc.

You may qualify for a free 4 page website (see West Village Provisions above for an example of one of my four-page websites), a $350 value, IF (1) I think your website will draw a large number of hits, (2) you are able to email me all pictures you want included (if you are local, see below), and (3) you are able to email me all text you want included. This offer is for creation of your website, and help obtaining your own domain name if needed.

You will still be charged a $15 set up fee and a $14 monthly website hosting fee, neither of which have anything to do with us, and may be subject to change without notice. Other restrictions apply. Preference given to small businesses in Essex County Massachusetts. Contact us for further details, such as ongoing maintenance. PLEASE do not send any content now. No adult sites considered. No agencies, freelancers, job applicants, etc. Principals only, please. I will help you get your own domain name, and if you are located in Essex County, I can do the photography work for your website.

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My Favorite Links
These are some of my favorite links. They are listed here more or less in alphabetical order for my convenience. Perhaps you will find them so, too.

Amazon

Comcast

eBay

Facebook

Google

Juno

Lycos

NetFlix

Switchboard

Weather

Yahoo!

YouTube



News Sites

BBC                     Hints of journalism

CNN                    Better than Fox

FOX                     Facts, schmacks...

New York Times   Looney Toons Rag

Alta Vista Search Engine Will find stuff Google won't

AnyWho Reverse Phone Number Lookup

Beverly [Mass] High Alumni Website For all BHS classes. Check It Out!

Blogger How to Set Up Your Own Blog

Camp Herrick Boy Scout Camp Maintained by us!

Give Me Back My Google! Google stripped of annoying results. Nice!

How to Get a Human on the Phone Sick of interactive voice response (IVR)?

Kayak The absolute best airline booking site

Massachusetts Doctor Profiles Check out your doctor

New Yorker Magazine Let's hope it survives the internet

Official BHS Class of '60 Website Maintained by us!

Our Websites Current Catsnamed Websites

Research Annoying Phone Calls See who's illegally ignoring DNCR

See Your House from Satellite Also, the ultimate mapper!

Site Down? Is this site down or is it me?

Snopes - Research Rumors Check it out before forwarding to others

View Score Legit Product Ranking w/o the Shills

Virus Info You Can Use! Quick reference links

Wired Pop-tech news & articles

Wize Legit product reviews w/o the shills

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Copyright © 2002-08 All rights reserved              Last Revised: 11/15/08 09:15 hrs.